Shame and Addiction

Shame is a powerful emotion. Many addicts carry shame. I know I did and so did Devin. Shame is quite different than guilt. With guilt, you have the ability to process, evaluate, learn, and make changes without beating yourself up over and over again. Shame, well that’s a whole different beast. Shame makes you feel less than. It’s that voice inside our head that says, “I’m not good enough,” and “I’m not worthy enough” and “I’ll never get better so why bother trying.” It has a way of shining a bright light on our flaws, whether they are real or imagined.

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We Need To Talk

“We need to talk.” Did anyone else read that and have their stomach tighten just a bit? I did and I’m the one who wrote it…and said it (kinda) to my hubby not too long ago. Some of you may remember he had a slip recently and while I’m an understanding sorta gal, I’m not one to sit idly by when I feel something needs to be said. I’m gonna say it.

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How much were you paid to say that?

“I love your new haircut.”

“Thanks. I’ll never get it to look as good as my hairdresser does.”

“Great shoes!”

“Thanks. I’ve had them forever.”

For so long, I had a difficult time accepting compliments. I wasn’t able to simply say, “Thank you, I appreciate it,” or “Thanks, that means a lot,” or even just say the words, “Thank you.” I felt compelled to explain or excuse the compliment away. As if I wasn’t worthy of it.

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I'm So Easily Excited

If you’ve been a follower of mine for a while, you know I get excited about the small things. It really doesn’t take much. I mean the cup holder light in my car was what sealed the deal, not the great mileage or the safety features. Well, the cup holder lights and the seat warmers, because who wants a cold fanny? Not this chick.

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Virtual Reality...In Rehab?

I love me some Dr. Phil. Say what you want about the guy, the man tells it like it is and for someone like me, (stubborn and bullheaded) that’s the kind of counselor I need when it comes to my sobriety and healing. Don't beat around the bush about my drug addiction and my betrayal trauma, doc. It’s probably why I tend to lean towards the blunt side when it comes to Devin and his sobriety too.

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