Just when I think I’m done with resentments, one crops up. Why? Is it because I’m an addict or because I’m human? That’s one question I guess I won’t know the answer to because, well, let’s face it, I’m an addict, recovered or not. That means that as much as I’d love to say that my brain is a perfect playground of butterflies and daisies, sometimes it’s still spiders (gah!) and poison ivy.
I’m grateful I have my husband to lean on these days. He’s a good reminder of why I should Let Go and accept some things as they are and to continue to look for that silver lining rather than harbor anger. Or feel “some type of way.”
When I shared how I was feeling about this particular person with him he said, “I totally get it. I was starting to feel that way too, but why? We can’t change it, so why not accept it for what it is?”
Accept it for what it is? But then how am I supposed to control it? Oh, wait…I’m powerless over this person’s actions. Accept it for what it is? But then how will I be recognized for all I’m doing? Oh, wait…humility. Accept it for what it is? But then how will I…Oh crap, my husband’s right. I need to pay attention to that Serenity Prayer I love so much:
Grant me the
Serenity to Accept the
Things I cannot change
Courage to change
The things I can and
Wisdom to know
Well dangit. I do need to accept this because I cannot change this person and I have the wisdom to know that now. Funny how my hubby pointed that out to me. It was only a few years ago when he and I were holding on tightly to resentments of each other. Like pit bulls, we sunk our teeth into the meat of our anger at one another because the fear of what lay beneath any other emotions was to scary to address.
Kinda like what’s going on with this person now. I can see that there is a bit of fear and insecurity popping around in this here brain o’ mine and I need to recognize that and understand that it will be okay. I need to stay my course. To thy own self be true, as they say.
Besides, hanging onto to anger and resentment causes harm to my wellbeing. In turn, that disrupts the harmony in my home. That’s why there are so many great sayings about it in the meetings. Here are some of my favorites:
· Resentments are like hemorrhoids. They only affect the butt that has them. (I cleaned that up for you guys!)
· A resentment is hurting yourself with the hope that someone else will feel the pain.
· Resentments take a lot of work. They need to be held close, fed, and kept warm. If you don’t take good care of them than they die and then what good would a resentment be if it died?
· Anger is the wind that blows out the candle of the mind
Do you hang on to anger and resentment or are you like my hubby and are able to let things go fairly quickly?