Sometimes it’s hard to remember I can’t pick up where I left off. I look in the mirror and I don’t see an “old” lady (be quiet Pat), I still see a chick who can pass for someone in their mid-thirties. Okay, fine. Maybe late-thirties. Not someone pushing almost fifty. I blindly ignore the fact that I plucked yet another grey eyebrow last week. This makes my third one in two months. Three in two months! In my eyebrows! I have no idea how many grays are on my head because I cover those bad boys up with highlights and will continue to do so until one of my kids shoves me into a nursing home…and even then I’ll demand my cut and color.
As many of you know, I turned to yoga when I finally realized I needed to do something for myself aside from going crazy with hypervigilance and the whole being addicted to my hubby’s addiction. I found yoga to be calming. Heck, an afternoon of journaling and yoga was almost as good as talking to my counselor or going to an S-Anon meeting. Almost. And while I was no expert yogi, I was feeling limber and de-stressed after a short time.
So when I loaded my yoga on the XBox a few weeks ago and struggled doing even the most basic poses, I was pretty surprised…and also in a bit of pain too. Both my ego and my body were hurting.
It made me realize it had been quite awhile since I’d done yoga consistently. Sure, I dabbled here and there with the basic stretches, but nothing like I was attempting to do this time around, but I mean, could my body be that unlimber? Um, yes. Yes, it can. I couldn’t even hold a Warrior 1 pose without shaking. Yikes! Then other poses, like the Triangle, hurt my neck and shoulders. Did I really fall apart the last few years? Maybe. It’s a bitter pill to swallow so I chose to ignore it and tried yoga again. Worse results this time. I ended up with a migraine from the pain.
I finally admitted to myself that I was being stubborn (I know, shocker, me stubborn) and bought “old lady yoga.” Also known as, "Gentle Yoga".
This made me think about my recovery. Are there areas that I’m being stubborn about? Or is it getting a bit too old and in need of some upgrades? Have I allowed it to become stagnant? I’ve added Fortify which is awesome, but what else can I do to keep it from becoming stale and worn out so I don’t get shaky? The last thing I want is another close call.
After some thought, I decided to plug back in to my online S-Anon group. I gain a lot of tools for my toolbox from them. I think I’ll also hit an AA meeting during the week to get my God cup full. They’re always inspirational for me. I’ll also make sure I read my daily reader every day rather than cramming it like a mid-term, and I’ll keep doing service work.
Of course, I’ll also continue to write and do my old lady yoga. While that’s not the official name, I feel it's their target audience and you know what? It rocks. I love it and because I love it, I use it. Except not this week because I threw out my back loading the dishwasher. I guess that’s what happens when you’re pushing fifty. You throw out your back doing basic chores. I guess old lady yoga is also for people who injure themselves doing basic household chores and sneezing, because I've thrown out my back doing that too.
Have you ever thrown out your back? Do you do yoga? How do you de-stress?