It’s no secret I’m from New York. I love my bagels, lightly toasted with butter. I love my New York pizza and I especially love an egg special. Right now I’m lukewarm on the Giants. (Come back, Michael!) I thought that because I was a tough New Yorker, I’d be fairly open-minded as I branched out into the world. It didn’t. And I wasn’t.
Sure, I was accepting because of my environment but I think that can be said of any home. Had my parents taught me to be racists, well then I guess I wouldn’t be spending time loving on my precious grandbaby. If my parents raised me to hate the LGBT community, then I guess two of my favorite people in the world (may they rest in peace), wouldn’t have spent so much time with my kids. My parents, my father, in particular, made sure I accepted those that may be different from me.
As I said in a previous post, my other FOO taught me to see beyond the wrapping of an individual. They taught me to look beyond the front people tend to put up, especially those caught up in criminal activity and more so in grips of addiction. Everyone has a story to tell. A reason they got to where they are and if we are open to hearing it, we may learn something fascinating and also hear some heartbreaking tales.
I remember how close-minded I was. Remember how easily I blew off that first whisper of Devin being a sex addict from that wonderful woman on the Internet? And how quickly I rejected what I heard in my first anon meeting? The fear, the trauma, all played a part but so too did my comparison to the others. I was searching for ways to separate myself from them. To spot the differences rather than search for the similarities. Why? Well, it’s much easier to say, “I don’t belong here,” because then I get to go home and continue to do what wasn’t working for me no matter how unhealthy it was. It kept me in that trauma-based cycle and it helped fuel my anger too.
So when I returned to S-Anon, I decided to look for the things that bonded me with the other people there. I tried to open my mind rather than be close-minded. It turns out, I’m unique in my journey and in my recovery, but there were plenty of similarities to keep me going back to the people who could understand me like very few could.
Similarities bond me with many people in my life, both in and out of recovery. One of those people is Guilie Castillo Oriard who I’m happy to share just released, It’s About The Dog; The A-to-Z Guide for Wanna Be Dog Rescuers. Her writing is, dare I say, similar to mine only way better? I read it and am humbled by what she does to save dog’s lives. Humbled.
Guilie will be here May 10, 2018, to share a bit more, but I couldn’t wait to let you guys know about her book. Thanks for all you do, Guilie! Your book made me cry. The good cry, not the bad cry. Not many books have done that. Even thinking about now brings tears to my eyes. Good tears. You rock, my friend!
Do you share close bonds with people through writing, animal rescue, crafts, or hitting up the beach?