Okay, get ready people. This is it! My final post for the 2018 A-Z Challenge. I did it and only missed the deadline by nine months. Good enough for government work as they say. I’m covering three letters and will keep them brief. You’re welcome. 😊
X is for crossroads. Okay, fine. I’m bending the rules a bit but if I can post nine months late, I suppose using the “X” as the symbol for crossroads is acceptable too.
I had several crossroads to think about the last decade but the biggest one for me to consider was whether or not I wanted to stay married to an addict. Hello pot. Meet kettle. Me, an addict, questioning being married to an addict. Still, it was not an easy decision and it was one that took me a long time make.
I was Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. I wanted my trauma healed right now! I wanted him “cured” right now! I wanted anything and everything that had to do with his addiction to be easy so that my decision would be easy.
It wasn’t. This crossroad didn’t just have stop signs and red lights. It had emergency vehicles and rescue units. I needed all the help I could get so I could heal, learn to detach with love, understand what healthy boundaries are and most of all, take care of myself.
The great thing about crossroads is that even when we feel we’ve made a concrete decision, there’s always room for change. Nothing is every truly set in stone…especially in the world of addiction.
Y is for Yes! As in, “Yes, you can heal!” “Yes, you can recover!” “Yes, there is hope!” I’m confident, whether you leave or stay with your loved one, that you can find happiness, peace, and self-fulfillment. And yes! I’m aware I sound like Richard Simmons right now but I feel that we each possess this inner strength and inner courage and when we tap into them…nothing is impossible. We are warriors!
Z is for Zebra. Lemme explain. No, I’m not giving a lesson on zebras. I don’t know much about them except that they have stripes and that’s what I want to talk about. The saying is, “A zebra can’t change his stripes.” I disagree. Perhaps not in nature but as for the saying, yes, a zebra can change his stripes and a leopard can change his spots. My hubby is proof of that.
I didn’t think it was possible. He lied to me. He gaslighted me. He lost sight of his moral compass when the addiction had dug its claws into him. But he was able to change. Not into the guy he was when I married him but into a better version of himself. It didn’t happen overnight. It was a journey. The path was full of roadblocks but he kept on going…and so did I.
I think these last three letters may be some of the most important ones in the Challenge. Not just for those in relationships with addicts but for many people. We find ourselves at crossroads and need to figure out which path to travel. When we make that decision, we need to remind ourselves that, “Yes! We’re warriors ready to fight!” And many of us have found people along the way who we thought were incapable of changing their stripes…yet they did. How awesome is that?
Can you relate to any of the letters in the last post of my 2018 A-Z Challenge? Are you as shocked as I am that I finally finished it? Will you do the A-Z this year?