My Handsome Dentist and My Chaotic Mouth

“We’ll see you next week, Elsie,” the perky dental assistant said with a smile.

I attempted to smile in return but failed miserably.  The entire left side of my face was numb from Novocain.  Instantly, I thought of Bill Cosby’s comedic skit about the dentist.  It really did feel like my face was sliding off my skull.

I paid the bill and scowled at the sight of how much my next visit would cost.  The receptionist saw my half-grimaced face and said, “At least Dr. Jeff is handsome.”

She had a good point. 

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My poor dental health is not for lack of brushing or flossing.  Heck, several times a week I use an electric toothbrush after I brush.  Instead, it’s a result of how wacky my body has become over the last year.  Your teeth never lie.  (At least that's what my former-dentist brother told me.)

My body has rebelled against me.  I’m fairly certain my immune system held a conference with my antibodies while I slept.  They plotted and schemed on how to mess with me.  They decided to cause extreme fatigue and brain fog.  But, they grew bored with my lack of energy and confusion so they stepped it up a notch.  A decision was reached to cause pain in all my joints. I feel like I'm ninety when I try to move.
From Bing.  I guess this is anti-rnp.  I'm no doctor.
Still not satisfied, the little buggers took it a step further and planned an all out assault on my liver.  They weren’t anticipating my super smart migraine specialist.  She tested me for everything under the sun.  Once I tested positive for ANA and anti-RNPs, well, it was game on buddy.

Off I went to the rheumatologist, then the gastroenterologist.  More blood work was drawn, more conferring with me, and now…well…I still don’t know what’s wrong exactly. I know it’s an autoimmune disease and it’s totally treatable. 

Also, it’s a bad idea to Bing any disease your doctor thinks you may have.  According to WebMD, I should be on a transplant list.  Or dead.  According to the Mayo Clinic, I’m going to be right as rain once I start medication.  I trust Mayo way more than WebMD.  Only because it's working in my favor to do so.

One thing is for certain, in the next month or two (or three or four), my immune system will return to doing what it’s supposed to be doing: protecting me, not attacking me.

In the meantime, at least I have a handsome dentist to take care of the chaos my body caused to my teeth.
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When was the last time you saw your dentist?  Was it a good experience?